It's been 5 months since we got back together and it's been a roller coaster of a ride. Up and down but when we're up, we're up.... But when we're down, we are under the earth. No relationship is easy and even though to the world it may seem like they're all love and happiness, everyone has their fair share of nonsense bull crud.
Sometimes when I have the time to think about nonsense, I think about what he did and it makes me sad all over again. Little things like scents, colors, tastes, and so much more can take me back to the moments where I've felt so vulnerable and weak. I think about them together and how he chose to be with her instead of me. I think about how I've felt my heart sink when I found out. I think about the way I cried all day on my birthday because I only wanted one thing... Him. I think about the way she posted on instagram about them and when he told me they had an intimate time. Till this day, I don't know the whole story and I don't think I will ever have the heart to know because I know I could never be with him. I could never forgive him and I could never learn to move on. Sometimes, however, not knowing is best because I don't believe I deserve to know. I don't believe that I deserve to live with the nightmares and hatred. I deserve to be happy and though my heart wonders what really happened, I can never allow myself to be hurt by all of this because what good does it make?
This is my two cents to you.
Never is it ever okay to cheat or be disloyal to your significant other. The moment you feel the thoughts or even the drive towards someone else, cut it off. Rather live with the guilt of leaving the person rather than amplifying it up by cheating on them and leaving them. Always be honest. If you don't love them, leave because they deserve to give their love to someone who will appreciate them and really mean it. Never have doubt. If your mind isn't made up, leave. Don't linger and try to figure your thoughts out and whisper sweet nothings. You're vein and a tool. Leave.
Don't give your thoughts to worthless people. Appreciate the positive and work for people with good souls. Be a thug and bring it back to the basics - fb, gm. Basically means don't even give your second to worthless people and work hard in achieving the prize. People are so focused on improving their lives to achieve standards of people who don't even matter. Main point is work for yourself and God. Be friends with people you actually like and build honest, meaningful relationships. Work hard for your means of livelihood. Go to school and get an education. Use your abilities the best way you can and most of all, bring glory back to God.
Shut up and do work, son.
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